A blog of benign neglect

27 month, eh?

Random things:
My mind is circling around the adoption again since I have to update the home study etc. (it's been a year!)... so I checked Rumor Queen, just because!
Not a good idea: There was a post asking what it would make the potential parents withdraw their adoption request and the desperation in some of the responses was...well, scary! Some of the people will be first time parents at over 50, know that they will have to work over retirement age to finance college for their kids and have to consider health issues... diapers instead of golden sunset!

A day or two later my very organized neighbors and proud parents of A. stopped by... they were way ahead of me in the game and expect to travel in November... which, yes, will be 27 month waiting time for them!

We speculated about if there would be more or less kids available after the Olympic games -- my gut tells that there might be some mixed race kids...

ok -'nough!

In case you wonder...

No news. I'm starting the renewal of the I600 and I171... another year.

We decided on a xmas tree theme...

In honor of Tiny, our daughter-to-be we do a chinese-themed tree with in red and gold with fans, gold coins and good luck envelops thanks to the art direction of C.

Keeping track on adoption referrals...

Many people in the adoption circles keep pretty tight track on the CCAA referrals -charts and graphs are flying around and in the moment many trackers agree that the CCAA is not referring as many kids as last year... the undertone is that they hold the kids back...
...but couldn't there be another explanations for the lack of referrals?
Perhaps
...it was a cold spring this year in China and couples didn't get in the mood for a little spring fling...
...or there was too good a TV program to get it on...
...or they had another campaign for the one-child policy...
...or a bunch of CCAA people are on vacation right now...
...or they are out with a flu...

National open adoption in Oregon...

only take about an average of 11 month. At least that is what near and dear friends of ours were told.
I am so happy for them, but yeah, it also causes a little heart ache and makes me at the same time question my motives as much as the previous article did.

So again, why are we am I upset that I have to wait up to 2 years for a Chinese daughter?
- Is it a little hurt pride that I thought I could rescue a little girl from sheer disaster and now there are no girls to rescue?
- Is it my immediate gratification mentality that wants it now, now, NOW? (Although God knows, it would be nearly impossible with my shop etc.)

So back to basics:
- I would like to adopt a baby because there are already enough children in this world who need parents.
- I would like to adopt a Chinese girl, because I prefer to have a daughter and I hope that I can give her an environment in which she is loved and cherished.
- I am happy that Chinese Society is warming up to national adoption of girls and that there are less abandoned babies, even if it means that I have to wait longer, because it is more important that the Chinese society is changing.

THIS IS REALLY GREAT, isn't it?

I am talking about the following article and as much as I am tired of waiting and as much as we Americans might think that we are entitled to other people's kids, THIS IS GREAT NEWS:
If abandonment rates are down in China, if less women are seeking abortions, if more kids are adopted nationally in China, we should be all cheering, because it means that the kids are being taken care of...

-- and that's why we are ultimately doing this, right?!

Waiting time for a Chinese adoption...

Talking about a charged thema... While China Adoption Forecast is downright frustrated about Chinese adoptions - 'The more drop out - the faster we get our child?!', another site seems much calmer and fact-based. Although I can't quite interpret all of the graphs, it seems not quite as dire as the 'China Adoption Forecast' predicts.

I wrote this about a week ago and totally freaked out afterwards. The entire idea of being trapped in this long wait, having a toddler with 43, may be even 44, having to go through the paperwork over and over again, was a little too much. So I posted on my agency's board and got support and hugs from people there... there are moms in their 50's out there and other people who are waiting as we do.

It made me feel better again.

Dreaming of Tiny

Last week people asked me about the adoption process and I did my usual shoulder shrug/eye roll thing... the next night I dreamed about checking the adoption newsgroup and seeing a couple I correspond with, getting their child... in my dream that meant that we are next -- and I absolutely freaked... I was happy, but I freaked out!

The numbers game -- again

...just because I am not crazy enough yet!

-- We are expecting the baby in Feb 2009
-- Our top age range is 18 month... which means that the baby would be born Nov/Dec 2007.

--> There is a pregnant woman in China in her second trimester with the hardest choice to make, but I hope that somewhere in her heart she knows that we will take good care of her baby.

[Ok, whenever I do this, I kind of want to stop myself. But I was so aware when I was pregnant with C... the feeling how my body changed etc. and somehow in the cosmic-karma spheres, I hope that this pregnant woman in China catches the vibe and that it makes it a tiny bit easier for her]

Oh God, this is so wrong -- I feel like a praying mantis...

LID April 30, 2007

Meaning that a friendly Chinese bureaucrat put a stamp on our dossier and moved it from one to the other pile... another step. Twenty month to go!